End of 2024
So every year for the past few years I do my end of the year blog. I talk and thank everyone I have worked with over the year. So thank you.
With that said it’s been a weird year. I have built a huge archive just this past year alone. It came with some good conversation. Some good times with some beers and some that I will call friend now. It also came with a solid eye opener on some folks I have dealt with and im glad like any other time a valuable lesson comes from it.
It’s also that time of year where we all tell ourselves we are going to change things and address things we may not like in our lives or in our heads or even our health. New Year’s resolutions are set in the mind only to be laid to waist in minutes. Or maybe a few days or weeks.
Couple this in my case with a job that I work were for the 40 to 60 hours a week no matter how much I do there is zero accomplished. Or gained. Nothing positive, nor negative just a mundane pile of warm shit that just sits and bakes in the sun and smells and rots. It attracts vermin and flies. I watch the news the other morning. A piece of shit walks over to a sleeping girl on the train and sets her on fire. Then sits on a bench and watches her burn, which lead to her death. This kind of shit deserves one in the temple close range. Welcome to my job.
I wont be a bitch. I make a fairly good living. I have good medical and that solid base as a parent is all it’s about for the most part. But the mental drain the burn out, the quiet quitting in my head has sadly lately even gotten to my photography. I usually push myself and do it anyways just to force myself because discipline creates flow and it does work most of the time. Lately not so much.
Some have seen me when I really get in a zone and shoot. The support you give when I do is great. To those few thanks, it’s huge.
Another thing this time of year that sux to see is not having loved ones, dads, family friends, and buddies here for the holidays. There was a loss in the pines last week that will be a hard void to fill for a long time from the way you see his friends and family react to it. I met the person a handful of times and it saddens me to say that someone like them was a special soul and if there is a lord above he better have a great fuckin plan to take such a good soul so young.
Maybe it’s my age and having an epiphany in seeing that everything is bullshit. Fakes, phoneys, self centered and ego driven. It’s in my workplace it’s in the area I shoot sometimes. It’s on the TV in our shows, news, government officials. I could go with this rant for hours. I will not. It is just a mindset i have lately and it is not easy to shake.
Photography projects and things that I had as goals in my work have changed a lot with this mindset lately. There will be some surprises in where I am not shooting. And a few with where I do show up to shoot. Im done doing the oooo let me shoot that and I’ll give you free shit. No offense to some but I will work with anyone in an even flow at any point and time and there is no money to it. But it’s a 2 way street. Im know-one special with a camera. I just have decided what is worth my time doing and what im spending out of my pocket in order to enjoy the use and results with my camera. 11k in gear this year went out not counting travel and in some cases rooms. And about $250 in my account paid. This is a formula that isn’t being done next year at all.
To some I want to apologize there was a few requests by some close folks for prints. Dealing with a computer crash and trying to revive my archive was a real thing and I did not deliver to quite a few of you. So I am sorry and I do have all requests written down and will try to get back to them in a month or so.
I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. A very Happy New year. May you be surrounded by good folks and be safe on the holiday season this year. I will see some of you folks soon and some I wont see.
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